Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Ragin'! (A fucked up poem about a fucked up day that never fuckin' happened!)

On a nighttime dark and dreary
While I labored weak and weary
O'er my mustang whose transmision
Lay uppon the floor

When at the door the sound of whamming
Blue lights sirenes car doors slamming
Cops were comeing dresed in SWAT gear
Kicking down my door,

Where's the dope hid muthafucker
Screamed the cop like a mean cocksucker
The cocaine weed and crack you got
You long-haired son of a whore

I have no drugs I loudly cried,
But all the cops they swarmed inside,
with hatchets saws and axes
Started ripping up my floor

I have no drugs I begged and wailed,
I do not deserve to be jailed
I have no drugs inside my house
Or in my car I'm poor

I have no drugs I stormed and raged
You'll not get my ass in no cage
Now put my floor boards back you prick
And shut my fucking door!

Then in the yard the sound of scrapping
Vicious bulldog ripping snapping
Sampling ham of tender pork
He'd never had before

He rushed the cop that had the gall
To take a pole-axe to my wall
Bit off his dick and both his balls
And spat them on the floor

Another leapt up in a funk
Haveing been sprayed by a skunk
The skunk that lives and nests with young
Beneath my kitchen floor

The law was not so easily put off
One drew a gun shot half his foot off
He screamed and danced a fucked up dance
He bled there on my floor

Screams yells and howls the air was filled
More guns were drawn more blood was spilled
None of it was mine 'cause
I was headed out the door

In their drawers the cops all crapped
On the roof the shingles flapped
Gunfire echoed 'cross the glen
The mountains and the moor

While I stood there in the yard
The cops trashed what they're paid to guard
I felt like a lonely sailor
Who watched a burning shore

And while my poor house slowly crumbled
Out the door the cops all stumbled
They laughed like fucking goof-balls
They staggered out the door

The seargent said ain't this a mess
It seems we got the wrong adress
He grinned at me a maddening grin
He handed me my door

My house let out a labored moan
The structure weakened to the bone
First a pop and then a crash
My roof fell through my floor

My door went up side that seargent's head
His ass fell out like he was dead
I called his dad a dickless dweeb
I called his mom a whore

And while I stood there thunder struck
Across the yard his lackeys trucked
My bulldog ripped their blue lights off
And made them lock their doors

And while my lawyer danced with glee
I told him of my agony
He said we'll get a million five
I said fuck that I want more

On the courthouse steps the Sherriff screamed
Reporters flocked and stoners dreamed
The judge threw out their last appeal
He'd heard such shit before

So with armed guards at both sides flanked
I took the check straight to the bank
With shovels loaded up my cash
They called the branch for more

So now the markets running hot
For the hippie with billions and a yaht
The best blooms fragrant on this spot
Roll a big'un I got more


cyclone said...

Beautiful! Maybe never happened, but should we "stay the course" I hope at least the dogs are real.

The Iraqi government pullout thing I wrote about, I did in a hurry when I found out about it. I forgot the best part. The Iraqi gov't said that the "American troops were fair game" for the insurgents, that just "Iraqi citizens are off limits." Like I asked, What's a Boosh to do?

stoney13 said...

Yea Brutus is real and so's the skunk! I should say skunks she had babies last spring. Brutus adopted them.

As far as Bush goes I'ld get the fuck out while the getting's good! The UN might leave the first adventure alone, since Suddam was SUCH a popular fellow... NOT. But this new democraticly elected government is not something we need to fuck with. Or is the UN gotng to sit idley by while we do so!

If I was Bush I wouldn't be taking any trips overseas either!

About Me

My photo
Well!! I'm not here to be on anybody's side! I DON'T like George W. Bush and I will NOT call the bastard president! I'll call him President Pork Pie, but that is about as close as it gets! I'm not here to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable! I learned a long time ago, that if you can make somebody laugh and think at the same time, they'll learn something! I'm trying to teach the American Public that there is another point of view out there, beside the Right Wing's This country's on a greased chute to Hell with Bush as it's Captain! I for one will not sit idley by while he drives the land that I love into the ground! This is my gift to this country. Maybe it's a little crude at times, maybe, it's a little rude at times! But in my world, rude and crude works! I'll post what I damn well please here and invite people to post comments the same way! Rant all you want!! I do! Freedom of Speech is the order of the day here! Like it? Let me know! Don't like it? Let me know! Silence me? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! So welcome one and all to STONEY'S RAGE!! It's all for America! I don't make a dime off it! And I won't have it any other way!