Thursday, July 20, 2006

President Pork Pie's Busy Week

Well! Hasn't President Pork Pie had a busy time THIS week!

First he takes Tony Blair to the seedy side of life by sharing profanities while dining with the table manners of a cud-chewing goat at the G8 conference! You'ld think that this unfortunate incedent would be enough for The Comander and Theif at the G8, but no! It seems that he had heard that some countries in the world still had a positive attitude towards The United States and it's President, and he was having none of that! He would prove to all and sundry that this country indeed has a madman at the helm, and this was his time to shine!

With a disturbingly leacherous grin on his face, he siezed the German Chancellor by the shoulders, and attempted to give her a massage. The good lady responded to his unwanted attention as if something cold, wet and clammy was trying to crawl into her clothes! I suppose if he was hoping to provide her with a "happy ending" he was shit out of luck! In fact, the only thing he didn't do at the G8 conference was scratch his balls, and pick his nose! And he probably did, but we just didn't get it on tape! (We can all give thanks now, for small miracles!)

After sharing with the world these unseemly escapades, and once again proving to the world at large that no male member of the Bush family can keep his mouth shut or his hands to himself when traveling abroad, Air Force One whisked the Dimpled Darling of the Desperatley Deluded back to Capitol Hill. Ever being one to keep a bad thing rolling, he dusted off his "Veto" stamp and handily made Nancy Reagan cry and disenfranchised 72% of the American People by vetoing a stem cell research bill that would have given hope to millions of suffering Americans! (My own CP afflicted stepson being one of them!)

Of course he wasn't the only Republican to make a total ass of himself this week over stem cell research. Seator Sam Brownback of Kansas produced a poster of an eagle and an egg, and used it to offer an argument which states by it's logic that he is indeed a vaginal orifice. As an encore he produced a child's artwork with lots of Xs and Os, and explained that the figures rendered were human embryos. He goes on to explain that one embryo (with hair and a smiley face no less) represented the one that got adopted. The frowning ones were sad because they were frozen, and one was crying piteously "You're going to kill me?!"

One can understand how a young child could fail to understand that these embryos are microscopic blobs of protoplasm, being held in a suspended animation. We can understand that a child could not and should not be expected to know that embryos in this state have neither hair or faces. However Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas should know better! But then again, what can you expect from a man, who fancies himself a vagina, and proudly goes to go to great lengths to prove it with the use of visual aids on the floor of The United States Senate?!!

Ah yes! It has been a busy week indeed for Bush and Company! But it is only Thursday morning, and three whole days are left! I DO wonder what they'll do next? Maybee kick some puppies, or burn some kittens, or rectally insert firecrackers into a toad.. Oh wait! He already did the toad thing!

I've come to the conclusion that Bush, like Steven King, does indeed have the heart of a small boy! And like Steven King, he probably keeps it in a jar on his desk!

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

we are few but growing
mf

murph said...

Stoney,

I really don't understand this Bush propensity to be embarrasing. Even though the presidents of U.S. is an awlful job, the pressure and tension must be pretty severe (ages presidents a bunch) and maybe Boosh is burned out, he still has no business being in that position. He reached his level of incompetance being a cheerleader. That he got over 10% of the votes in both elections doesn't say much for our citizens. The man is a blooming dork.

freeacre said...

Stoney,
Your eloquence and apt summary of the moron-in-chief is, as usual, inspiring! I can't believe that more attention and outrage hasn't been voiced by the "women's movement," at least, regarding the totally inappropriate backrub on the Chancellor of Germany. Just shows how lame the movement has become. When I think of the enthrauled mobs of people in Berlin when Pres. Kennedy visited there in the 60's and compare it to the numbnuts president we have representing us now, I could burst into tears.
The stem cell research will go on, whether it is subsidized by the government or not. So, hopefully, there is still hope that your son will eventually receive some benefit from it. What worries me is that, as I understand it, the corporations have patents on our genes. And, the tissues and cells and eventually clones will all be products that they own and can do anything they want with. Could turn into something unimaginably grotesque. But I guess it will be a battle for the next generation to wage, assuming that there are still labs, etc, by then.

freeacre said...

Stoney,
Your eloquence and apt summary of the moron-in-chief is, as usual, inspiring! I can't believe that more attention and outrage hasn't been voiced by the "women's movement," at least, regarding the totally inappropriate backrub on the Chancellor of Germany. Just shows how lame the movement has become. When I think of the enthrauled mobs of people in Berlin when Pres. Kennedy visited there in the 60's and compare it to the numbnuts president we have representing us now, I could burst into tears.
The stem cell research will go on, whether it is subsidized by the government or not. So, hopefully, there is still hope that your son will eventually receive some benefit from it. What worries me is that, as I understand it, the corporations have patents on our genes. And, the tissues and cells and eventually clones will all be products that they own and can do anything they want with. Could turn into something unimaginably grotesque. But I guess it will be a battle for the next generation to wage, assuming that there are still labs, etc, by then.

Tom Degan's Daily Rant said...

Ah, Stoney!
Another classic for the ages! May I provide a link to your site on "the rant"?
I should have thought of that monthsa ago!
Cheers!
Tom Degan

Anonymous said...

It's week old news now but this is a re-run of the embarrasing press conference with the German Chancellor and the pig comments from the pig in chief. For someone who wouldn't even come out of his house when New Orleans was flooding He seems to be on a roll with this mavable feast around the world. Is he trying to proove that he has friends or even that people like him.

Belgium

stoney13 said...

Tom,

Hell yes! I tried to send you some emails, but they all come back undelivered. The ones I sent to your blogspot address don't get through either. I think it might be something on my end.

sickofsleaze said...

Been reading your comments on Tom,s blog and like what you say. I agree with every word and add a few epithets of my own devising. Bush is the lowest form of humanity, scratch that, it is insulting to the human race to include bush. Please sendme a bookmark for my desktop, I'm just getting into blogging and not up to all the fine points. Tell it like it is till Gonzales shows up on our doorstep. I agree about not calling him presisent, he is an insult to anyone who has served honorably in that office

sickofsleaze said...

I loved your comment on Brownback. As a resident of Kansas,he purports to "represent" me in the hallowed halls of Congress but to me all he represents is how far our country has fallen from the Democracy envisioned by the founding fathers. He used to usual dirty R tricks to get elected and stay elected and now has Presidential stars in his eyes.

sickofsleaze said...

Re a post above: I lived in Germany in 68&9 and the Germans revered Kennedy. His isch bin ein Berliner still resonated with the man on the street. They were terrified of the Russians and expected them to come pouring thru the Fulda Gap to take them over again.Tho there was still a lot of anti Americanism because of the ww2 bombing Americans were admired and envied. Surfing some files I had not seen for quite some time I came across a picture of a Mainz protest rally when Bush made his European trip to rally support for his Iraq atrocity one was waving a sign that said "Bombing for peace is like f-----g for virginity. As much or more apt today as then if not more so.

stoney13 said...

Sick of Slease,

I went through Kansas a while back. Pretty country, lots of wheat fields. I loved it! Cars seem to last forever out there.

The cops could have been friendlier! Even though I can hardly expect to be addressed as "Sir" when they put those size 12 brogans on the back of my head and searched my bike for that which I did not have!

At least they didn't try to plant any "evidence" on me, and the "We don't need your kind 'round here" speach wasn't delivered from behind a loaded 9 millimeter automatic. I do wonder, however, exactly what they expected to find on a bobbed 1947 Indian Bonneville Chief with no saddle bags!

The birthplace of "The Grange" deserves FAR better than Sam Brownback! Hopefully you'll get it next ellection. The hard working people of Kansas have been fucked long enough by that theocratic nut-job! The whole country is waking up slowly, and Kansas won't be far behind. Things move a little bit slower ther, and that's one reason I love it! Google "Saluda, North Carolina", where I live, and you'll see what I mean!

Wilma Lamb said...

First, as an animal lover, DON'T insult the goat by comparing Bush to it. Second, I live in Kansas tho not a native and agree with all you say except that they will wake up. Rip van Winkles abound here. The earth is flat, we can't teach evolution in school,and Democrats or any type of liberal is an endangered species.In the proud city of Humboldt where I reside, the local cops ticketed cars for DWOOC,Driving while out of county by ticketing drivers who made right turns without signalling and other like crimes against humanity. They were so successful they ran the local pub out of business and a resturaunt or two, which did a lot for our main street, not to mention our tax base. Brownback is just what Kansas deserves but I would hate to wish him on the rest of the world. I really don't think he will ever make president or even the nomination, He makes Atilla look liberal

stoney13 said...

Wilma,

Please accept my heartfelt appologies for comparing George Bush a goat! I don't know WHAT came over me! I discussed the issue al some length with my wife and we came to the mutual conclusion (both of us having dealings with goats) That the vilest, and most antogonistic of billy goats is better natured, and sweeter smelling that George Bush! Although I must admit, if Bush butted a fence post, his head would probably make the same hollow knocking noise that the goat does when he butts a fence post. We know that the goats noise comes from the fact that his horns are hollow. Bush has no horns (I don't think!) so this noise would of course mean that the hollowness is centered deeper in the head.

Yea, I know that this is common knowledge, but I just LOVE to rip on Bush!

Wilma Lamb said...

Stoney I Love to read your posts Rip away!! I hunted up Saluda on Webshots, pretty town

Wilma Lamb said...

The horns are there and like Pinocchio's nose growing longer

Anonymous said...

From Belgium,

For Wilma Lamb, re the hollow knocking sound. The following was posted to me by e-mail from Freeacre and was also posted to Stoney. It is pretty damned obvious that the hollow sound is just what you guessed it was but now it is official.

No surprise here. lol

Presidential IQ:

A report published Monday, by the Lovenstein Institute of Scranton, Pennsylvania, detailed its findings of a four month study of the intelligence quotient of President George W. Bush. Since 1973, the Lovenstein Institute has published its research to the educational
community on each new president, which includes the famous "IQ" report among others.

There have been twelve presidents over the past 50 years, from F.D.
Roosevelt to G.W. Bush, who were rated based on scholarly achievements:

1. Writings that they produced without aid of staff.

2. Their ability to speak with clarity, and several other psychological factors, which were then scored using the Swanson/Crain System of intelligence ranking.

The study determined the following IQs of each president as accurate
to within five percentage points. In order by presidential term:

Franklin Delano Roosevelt [D] 142,
Harry S Truman [D] 132,
Dwight David Eisenhower [R] 122
John Fitzgerald Kennedy [D] 174,
Lyndon Baines Johnson [D] 126,
Richard Milhous Nixon [R] 155,
Gerald R. Ford [R] 121,
James Earle Carter [D] 175,
Ronald Wilson Reagan [R] 105
George Herbert Walker Bush [R] 98,
William Jefferson Clinton [D] 182,
George Walker Bush [R] 91

In order of IQ rating:

182 . . William Jefferson Clinton [D]
175 . . James Earle Carter [D]
174 . . John Fitzgerald Kennedy [D]
155 . . Richard Milhous Nixon [R]
147 . . Franklin Delano Roosevelt [D]
132 . . Harry S Truman [D]
126 . . Lyndon Baines Johnson [D]
122 . . Dwight David Eisenhower [R]
121 . . Gerald R. Ford [R]
105 . . Ronald Wilson Reagan [R]
098 . . George Herbert Walker Bush [R]
091 . . George Walker Bush [R]

The six Republican presidents of the past 50 years had an average IQ
of 115.5, with President Nixon having the highest at 155. President George
W. Bush rated the lowest of all the Republicans with an IQ of 91.

The six Democratic presidents of the past 50 years had an average IQ of 156, with President Clinton having the highest IQ, at 182. President Lyndon B. Johnson was rated the lowest of all the Democrats with an IQ of 126. No president other than Carter [D] has
released his actual IQ (176). Note the institute measured him at 175.

Among comments made concerning the specific testing of President G.W. Bush, his low ratings are due to his apparently difficult command of the English language in public statements, his limited use of vocabulary [6,500 words for Bush versus an average of 11,000 words for other presidents], his lack of scholarly achievements other than a basic MBA, and an absence of any body of work which could be studied on an intellectual basis.

The complete report documents the methods and procedures used to arrive at these ratings, including depth of sentence structure and voice stress confidence analysis.

"All the Presidents prior to George W. Bush had a least one book under their belt, and most had written several white papers during their education or early careers. Not so with President Bush," Dr. Lovenstein said. "He has no published works or writings, which made it more difficult to arrive at an assessment. We relied more heavily on transcripts of his
unscripted public speaking."

The Lovenstein Institute of Scranton, Pennsylvania think tank includes high caliber historians, psychiatrists, sociologists, scientists in human behavior, and psychologists. Among their ranks are Dr. Werner R. Lovenstein, world-renowned sociologist, and Professor Patricia F.Dilliams, a world-respected psychiatrist For more information on the Lovenstein
Institute, go to http://lovenstein.org/ .


Hm - The smartest president didn't know enough to keep his pants zipped and
the dumbest one thinks he can run a war.

stoney13 said...

What 91? Bullshit! That makes him damn near normal! Of all the things I can call President Pork Pie, normal is far from any of them!

Wilma Lamb said...

RE brownback (again)and his visual aids on the Senate floor: with the mental acuity of most of the US government that was probably a good idea. Of course BB had a staffer do the brainwork

Wilma Lamb said...

re:anonymous from Belgium: Thanks!! That was very interesting and informative, you confirmed for me what I have known since the age of 4 when Landon ran against FDR: Democrats are smarter than Republicans. Tho smartest prez didn't know enough to keep his pants zipped, and the dumbest doesn't know enough to keep his lip zipped.

Anonymous said...

From Belgium.

For your entertainment.

When Cyclone from the Real Deal, was regularly active he ended his posts with a Bush quote. I saved these up for no particular reason and I will post them here to show you what Lovenstein Institute was up against.

"Well, it either is or it isn't. Since I don't know for sure, it could be one or the other, I think."

George W. Boosh
C-Span, September 27, 2001


I think the American people- I hope the American- I don't think, let me- I hope the American people like me.

December 18, 2002


"[T]he best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data."

George W. Boosh, Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003


"They can get in line like those who have been here legally and have been working to become a citizenship in a legal manner."

George W. Boosh, on immigrant workers, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2004


"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens."

George W. Boosh, Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2002


"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the--vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And, we will find these people and bring them to justice."

George W. Boosh
Washington D.C.----October 27, 2003


"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."

George W. Boosh--- Interview with the Associated Press
January 18, 2001

“The legislature’s job is to write the law. It’s the executive branch’s job to interpret the law.”

George W. Boosh; Austin, Texas; November 22, 2000


"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."

George W. Boosh; Crawford, Texas; May 3, 2003


"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."

George W. Boosh; St. Louis, Mo; October 18, 2000


"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

Our fearless genius, George W. Boosh; Concord, New Hampshire; January 29, 2000


"You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order---order out of chaos. But we will."

George W. Boosh; Washington, D.C.; April 13, 2003


“I’m also not very analytical. You know, I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.”

George W. Boosh; Aboard Air Force One; June 4, 2003


“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”

George W. Boosh; La Crosse, Wisconsin; October 18, 2000


“I’m honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein.”

George W. Boosh; Washington, D.C.; May 25, 2004


"Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were visiting with us. They are near retirement—retiring—in the process of retiring, meaning they’re very smart, active, capable people who are retirement age and are retiring."

George W. Boosh; Alexandria, Virginia; February 12, 2003
(naw, money and a name can't get a blithering idiot in and out of Yale & Harvard in good standing)


“This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And, having said that, all options are on the table.”
George W. Boosh; Brussels, Belgium; February 22, 2005


“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

George W. Boosh; Washington D.C.; August 5, 2004


“The illiteracy level of our children are appalling.”

Washington, D.C.; January 23, 2004

Wilma Lamb said...

Dear Stoney; You are going to get a bad opinion of Kansas people and they are not all bad, we just have more than our share. If you think Brownback is an idiot and all the other things you called him all true of course but you should hear our illustrious 3rd District US Congressman Jim Ryan who made a visit to Humboldt. Our editor was registered as an independent but was just that independent. He didn't say anything either way about Ryan,just quoted him word for word, Malapropisms and all. Ryan can almost make GWB sound Yalie.Speaking of Yalie just read Belgium's post

Wilma Lamb said...

This was sent by a friend. Bill Clinton, John Kerry and GWB were captured by terrorists and sentenced to be shot. Clinton was first and as the guns were being aimed Clinton yelled earthquake! and everybody ran. Kerry was next and he yelled tornado! amd everbody ran. as Bush was being led out he thought "there is a pattern here" so as the guns were being aimed, smirked his smirk and yelled Fire!

wilma lamb said...

Life is getting dull Stoney. There are plenty of things enraging me. Let's hear from you

Anonymous said...

"anonymous from Belgium: Thanks!! That was very interesting and informative, you confirmed for me what I have known since the age of 4 when Landon ran against FDR: Democrats are smarter than Republicans"

Begium and you are the true dummies.

Lovenstein is a hoax:

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/hoaxes/presiq.htm

About Me

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Well!! I'm not here to be on anybody's side! I DON'T like George W. Bush and I will NOT call the bastard president! I'll call him President Pork Pie, but that is about as close as it gets! I'm not here to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable! I learned a long time ago, that if you can make somebody laugh and think at the same time, they'll learn something! I'm trying to teach the American Public that there is another point of view out there, beside the Right Wing's This country's on a greased chute to Hell with Bush as it's Captain! I for one will not sit idley by while he drives the land that I love into the ground! This is my gift to this country. Maybe it's a little crude at times, maybe, it's a little rude at times! But in my world, rude and crude works! I'll post what I damn well please here and invite people to post comments the same way! Rant all you want!! I do! Freedom of Speech is the order of the day here! Like it? Let me know! Don't like it? Let me know! Silence me? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! So welcome one and all to STONEY'S RAGE!! It's all for America! I don't make a dime off it! And I won't have it any other way!