Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A Modest Propasal


Think about it!! The House and the Senate all sit down together and pass the Legislative Bong! Of course there must be urinalisis performed regularly to make sure some Puritanistic Repug isn't faking it! C-Span would actually be entertaining for a change and the country would be run by stoners who are a lot more fun than the dry drunks we got now, and I can't think of any way they could fuck things up any worse!

The UN delegates would begin by six deep hits of Hombolt County's finest or BC Bud each, (Thunderfuck could be substituted if it's in season), with an aditional six hits every half hour! The Isrealis and the Kurds would toke down with the Sheites and the Suni's and all become smoking buddies! All thoughts of war and destuction would be discarded in favor of finding a decent Kosher Deli that delivers!

North and South Korea would forget why they had split the country up and go out for barbecue. Chemical weapons would all be forgotten and nobody would need missles except to shoot them off and say"Wow!" at all the pretty sparks!

There would be be plenty of bio-mass to burn after the buds and shade-leaves are plucked to fuel the power plants to power up all those video games and CD players. (After all what's a good buzz without video games and tunes!) And lot's of fine quality hemp for papers and clothing!

We would forget all about silly shit like war and destruction, and everybody would forget what a thermo-nuclear device was ever good for if you can't smoke it, eat it, or make a bong out of it! We'ld just leave them lying around while we all wandered aimlessly around looking for papers!! Things would be great unless somebody brought one to a drum circle and tried to use it for a percusion instrument, and blew the world to fuck! Even then, at least we'ld all die happy!


cyclone said...


I've always thought that drunk driving would virtually disappear if pot were legalized. People would be driving around at 25 MPH, asking their passengers if they were "going too fast." Sure, the city's revenue stream would drop, but think of the convenience store business. If they legalize it, let's open a convenience/pot/bong store. Deal?


stoney13 said...

You got it!!

thedrummer said...

You've hit it on the head, Stoney.

If Dumbya toked a bong he'd actually have a reason for that stupid fucking smirk!

A while back I read somewhere that Tommy Chong was arrested. What's the deal with this?

stoney13 said...

The Drummer,

If Dumbya hit a bong his head would explode, and we'ld be rid of him! We're not that fucking lucky!!!

Yea Tommy got busted along with his son and alot of other people. Tommy is the only one who got any time out of it though! He's out now, last I heard on parole (If you can call that being out!) As soon as he gets off parole I don't doubt we'll be hearing a lot from Tommy! Right now he's got to keep a low profile, so "The Man" don't bounce him back into the clink.

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Well!! I'm not here to be on anybody's side! I DON'T like George W. Bush and I will NOT call the bastard president! I'll call him President Pork Pie, but that is about as close as it gets! I'm not here to comfort the afflicted, but to afflict the comfortable! I learned a long time ago, that if you can make somebody laugh and think at the same time, they'll learn something! I'm trying to teach the American Public that there is another point of view out there, beside the Right Wing's This country's on a greased chute to Hell with Bush as it's Captain! I for one will not sit idley by while he drives the land that I love into the ground! This is my gift to this country. Maybe it's a little crude at times, maybe, it's a little rude at times! But in my world, rude and crude works! I'll post what I damn well please here and invite people to post comments the same way! Rant all you want!! I do! Freedom of Speech is the order of the day here! Like it? Let me know! Don't like it? Let me know! Silence me? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! So welcome one and all to STONEY'S RAGE!! It's all for America! I don't make a dime off it! And I won't have it any other way!